Pig

Today when I picked Ari up, he told me a fascinating story.

Ari: Mommy! I can't even suck my sum because when we had outside time we were playin' with poison! Orange poison. I had to wash my hands, but now the orange is back. And only pigs can drink orange poison. Ziv said. He said pigs can drink poison, orange blood and not die. But if I drink it, I will have a very bad sore sroat, and I will die. 

Self: Oh?

Ari: But if God is weal, he'll come and sing to me while I'm lying, dead, and I'll come back alive again. I hope he does because then I'll get to live extra because I'll go back to being a baby!

Self: Bunny, you're too young to mourn your lost youth.

Ari: But, I wanna live forever! I wish I was a pig!

Self: Wait, why? What is the advantage of piggery?

Ari: Pigs can eat poison, orange blood and not die!

Self: Oh, what fun!

Ari: (wistfully) Yeah.

Self: But, do you really want to be a pig? Because pigs can't play iPad. Or watch tv.

Ari: (laughs uproariously) No, I was just joking. If I was a pig, I'd be stuck in a cave all my life.

Self: Do pigs live in caves?

Ari: Plus, pigs have dirty baffs. Their baffs are full of dirty. Yuck! I want to take a normal baff, wiff shampoo.

Self: Good boy. (Pause) Do pigs live in caves? 

Ari: (sighs, rolls eyes) No, Mommy, of course not. Pigs live in cages on a farm. Don't you know?

Self: Oh, right. I thought you said caves. 

Ari: I did not say caves. For goodness' sake.

Self: Ok, ok. But I think Ziv was teasing you. Pigs can't drink poison, orange blood and live.

Ari: (refrains from sounding exasperated, somehow) I know, Mommy. But, thanks.

Anytime, Bunny. Anytime.