Monday, November 18, 2013

No Open Door

Help. B had moment of insanity and offered Ari the choice to sleep with his door open. Insanity! He won't! He can't! But, of course, he will say yes when offered opportunity. As he would say yes if offered chance to sleep with loaded submachine gun, dissected frog, porcupine, wet popsicle, hot burning coal, or other such items. 

WHOLE ENTIRE BEDTIME was made eternal and difficult by door open suggestion. And then! He came out saying she'd promised him he could. And then! She! Continued to entertain the INSANE INSANE INSANE notion of him sleeping with his door open. Which he will not do! Because he has slept with it closed for five years, and we have a cat who will jump on his head. And I want to have sex sometimes, and we have to sleep with our door open because otherwise said cat will yowl at the door to get out (if in) or to get in (if out) at top volume, keeping everyone up. Also, she has claws and will scratch at the door and will stop doing so at intervals just long enough for us all to begin to fall asleep before starting up again, jolting us out of Blissful Slumber. So, since our door must be open, Ari's must be closed or my sex life will be forever ended, which of course we cannot have.

You see why Ari cannot, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, sleep with his door open. I swear if I could I'd perform brain surgery on my only child just to get that idea out of his head. As it is, we threatened withholding allowance. That seems to have worked for the moment. 

Also, look at this:

Is he a cutie, or what?

The end.

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