Things I do not get

1) At a concert one time, B and I had lawn tickets, and this dude near us kept shouting in a dumb voice, imitating an annoying person (to impress his friends?) because that's so charming and necessary, and we don't have enough actual annoying people. Why do men do this?

2) Why, when I conduct Amazon searches, does random shit come up? For instance:

What does a subwoofer have to do with air filters? Anyone?

3) Why, when Ari calls some other person/child a baby, does he always say "diaper baby?" The whole kindergarten set does the same thing, evidently, since he occasionally reports that he is no longer associating with Michael or whomever for calling him a "diaper baby." And for extra, bonus crazy points: he changed schools--from a secular preschool to a Jewish kindergarten where he knew NO ONE--and at the new school, they do the same thing! It's "diaper baby" everywhere you go! Wouldn't the "diaper" be implied by the "baby?" I mean.

4) Dear IKEA,

If you are so good at maximizing and organizing space, then why is your store so damn BIG AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ANYTHING IN?

Love,

me

5) My long, true, deep love of country music: what does it mean?

6) Runner slang: what does it mean to "bonk?" I am afraid to ask B because I have been pretending to already know for the past year. (Only to better support her emotionally, you understand. Am not a liar.)

7) Drunken sots always annoy me--no matter how much/which substances I use to try to identify with them. Shouldn't there be a point at which I do not care?

8) My friend--let's call her Jane--had to break up with some dude whom she'd known for three days because he said she seemed "distant." After three days? Really?

The end.